i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we made out on top of his cat.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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