i wish starbucks made bloody marys
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
