I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
