Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
