just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
