sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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