i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
