Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
