yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize