Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
