Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize