Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
