You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
