called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
