so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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