I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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