"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
