all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
false alarm, still single
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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