I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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