K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
