Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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