Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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