so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
