she woke up with a sticky ear
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
