I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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