Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it because I queefed?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
