Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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