You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
