was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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