You just made me feel so damn special
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
