we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
