We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every concussion has its silver lining
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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