I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
