were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
