I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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