This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
