Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
