4 words: hood of his car
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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