There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize