I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
