I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
