Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
