You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
