Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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