mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
