if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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