Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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