he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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