Pappa wants mamma naked
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
