I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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