One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
