that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
