thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
