I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize