Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
