I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
