I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
