my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
