who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
