Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
