Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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