sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
