so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
