You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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