Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We left the knife in your bed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
