You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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