Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
