Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
