He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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