party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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