I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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