Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
