there was a trapeze. enough said
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
