I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
