i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i think my mom watched the whole time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
