He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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