Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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