so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up under a house in Key West
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
