Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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