Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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