I wish I could teleport
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
