Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you would pick up someone in the library
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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